Or “The Post Where You Learn How Bad a Mother I Really Am” by Emily Hill
Note: I started writing this post about 9:00 p.m. last night…
Until about a half hour ago I had absolutely no idea what Id write for todays post. Then we started the nightly bedtime ritual and within five minutes I knew exactly what my post would say. And I also knew my post would be far from nifty and far from inspiring (sorry, Allison); rather it would be a therapeutic release for the frustration, resentment and ensuing guilt I feel for being the one mom in the whole world who wishes her kids would put themselves to bed.
Okay, I wish at least three out of the four would put themselves to bed. The fourth requires only a binky, favorite stuffed animal and kiss on the cheek before laying her down in her crib; its a two-minute process start to finish. If only the other three were that easy! I think the only time I ever truly enjoy bedtime is when my kids are in the stage my youngest is in right now, the binky-blanket-book-bed stage. Just now I had to haul my three-year-old back to bed for the fourth time tonight. Oh, and here I am one sentence later and hes back again can you see my jaw tensing as I get up yet one more time to lead him back to bed in silence? And yes, I learned that trick from Super Nanny.
Honestly its not this getting-out-of-bed thing that bothers me because that seems to occur only in phases. (Were serious sleep trainers in this family and have been since our firstborn was four months old.) Its just the long process it takes to get multiple kids in bed before the stroke of 8:30 p.m. I know I should cherish this time as theyll grow up before I know it and Ill soon miss things like dried-on toothpaste in the sink and multiple trips to the bathroom. But will I really miss asking them for the hundredth time if theyve showered yet or reminding them yet again to pick up their clothes off the bathroom floor or telling them for the third night in a row they wouldn’t be hungry at bedtime if theyd eaten their dinner? I beg to differ.
I should love everything about bedtime…hence the guilt. Instead Im plain exhausted once theyre all tucked in for the night and find myself breathing deep sighs of relief I havent heard the pitter patter of little feet for at least 15 minutes (and still counting). But before you think Im the worst mother in the worldand lamest petit elefant guest blogger everI do have one redeeming quality: I absolutely adore my kids especially when theyre sleeping.
oh, the dreaded bedtime. When Van was little we would literally start getting panic attacks that it was getting dark. For whatever reason it brings out the worst in her. Now that she is 4, Paul has trained her. I can take absolutely no credit for bedtime, because I am not home. :'( Which I would love to be home for bedtime, because I feel guilty that my husband is getting good at things that I really suck at. the. end.
I'm right there with ya, dreading the bedtime routine. I'm such a nice, loving mommy the first time I drop them in bed, but each successful time hopping out of bed leads me to become the Incredible Hulk – I go crazy. I keep hoping that my "Hulk" side will be enough incentive to stay in bed, but so far, we're still doing the Super-Nanny put down most nights. I doubt I'll miss this either… ;)
p.s. little Georgie looks so cute sleeping!!!! What a funny pose!
Alright the bum in the air is one of the cutest things kids do when they sleep :) Great post Emily!!
whew, I hear ya. It's hard to stay patient when we're getting tired too and still have lots fo stuff to do, but they sure are precious little people–especially when they're sleeping. :)
Don't worry, that's how everyone feels. I was thinking the same thing as I was laying by my five year old rubbing his back last night. "Someday I'll think back and wish I had been happier about this/done better at it/wished it lasted longer." but for now, I just want him to go to sleep without me laying by him and rubbing his back. Ugh.
Oh! I have had those same thoughts almost every night!! Feeling guilty because I should be enjoying the time because it will go by so fast, but feeling frustrated with the dragging out the kids do! I'm sure you are a fantastic mom! And you're normal!!
I hate bedtime, too, it makes me exhausted and cranky…
Thank you all for making me feel like I'm not the only one who dreads bedtime! :)
I love, love, love that pic. It's all worth it when they finally fall asleep. Last night, my boys slept in the same bed. Put up a huge fuss about going, but 2 hours later, they were asleep and hugging each other. Too cute!
I dread the bedtime routine too–with three kids under 8 years old, it's a damn process. The pajama-ing, the tooth brushing, the filling of the water cups, the reading of the 75 board books we've read 100 times before, the whole shebang is quite exhausting.
But…we love these beautiful little creatures we call kids. :)
Great post!!
Heather Allard
Great post Em! I'm impressed that you were writing it at 9pm. We are still in the thick of it at that hour, even though I've told them, and they've witnesses many times that when the clock strikes 9, I turn ugly! That fact just doesn't seem to persuade them to listen. And while I look forward to Summer and mo routines, I wonder at what time will there be quiet in my house?
You know me I HATE bedtime. I'm all about getting it done as quickly as possible. My kids still ask Emily because she read to them and told them stories…thanks a lot!
I don't know of any parent who says their bedtime routine always works. We have many nights where our kids are up and out of bed a bazillion times OR one wakes up the other with cries/screams about not wanting to go to bed.
I'm grateful when they do go to bed willingly and not up as late as I am!
Believe me, you aren't the only Mom (or parent) who dreads bedtime. And yes, don't we all LOVE it when it works?
Emily, great post! You are definitely not alone, anyone with kids,(especially four!) knows the bedtime frustrations. Before you know it they'll be 16 and only need a kiss and a "goodnight!" Ah, but wait, I still have a 3 year old- like I said, you are not alone! P.S. She still beats up on her brother, LOL!
I had to share with all of you the email my husband sent me in response to this post. I wanted him to post it here but he thought you all may not know he was writing it totally tongue in cheek! ;) Gotta love him!
"You should be ashamed of yourself. Being a mother is the greatest job in the world! If you don't love every minute of the time you spend with your children you are not a good mom. I am sorry that I have to be so harsh with you, but this is part of being a husband (the second greatest job in the world). And I am only saying these things because I love you and know you can do better. To show my support I will create and post a chart on the wall which will daily track my opinion of your motherhood. I know you will do well and that this support will be just what you need to fully realize just how great motherhood can be.
-Nathan
Sorry about this email. But I was just thinking that being a mother would be so much better if someone told you everyday how you were doing."