It all started when we bought our house, almost ten years ago. The master bathroom and (attached) walk-in closet were part of the reason we loved the house; the jetted tub was my closer. What we didn’t notice, or know to notice, was all the water damage in the bathroom.
The floor next to the bath was so soggy I could push down the linoleum with my toes. When I ripped the green ivy wallpaper down a few weeks after moving in, (no really, ivy wallpaper to match the turquoise counters and spotted turquoise linoleum) I discovered more water damage in the form of smushy walls and peeling drywall.
We didn’t have any extra cash, so I did what anyone else would do: I peeled back as much bad drywall as possible before I painted over the whole thing.
Rusted out sink? Nobody’s looking. Except me every time I washed my hands and cut myself all over the drain, no bigs.
But eventually the master bathroom turned into kind of a big deal. The faucet started leaking like crazy, the mold problem exploded, there was water damage all over the ceiling of the garage below the bath and I started having fantasies (not the good kind) of falling through the floor into the garage every time I took a shower.
Plus I hated the contractor special boob light. A lot. Who keeps making these?
Why? Why? No one likes the boob lights.
Knock it off.
Little by little we started making plans to demolish the master bath and start from scratch. I let the kids draw all over the walls with permanent marker (kid heaven!) sketched up some basic plans, nothing fancy, and we were on our way.
It’s not like our bathroom wasn’t perfectly acceptable, minus all the scary mold and water damage, it’s just that, well. I guess mold and water damage aren’t totally up to code, and I’m not cool with wasting gallons of water due to leaky faucets, so we ripped it all out down to the studs.
No more faux marble tub surround and shower.
(I personally sledgehammered that bad boy).
No more linoleum.
I will miss my Vera Wang shower curtain, but I’m sure I’ll figure out a way to re-use it eventually.
Sayonara porcelain sink with the rusty drain and moldy, cracked faucet.
Oh you, you not-industrial, low-flow toilet. I hated you most.
Au revoir droopy vanity cupboard doors, you’ve messed with my OCD heart muy long time.
Adios moldy, chipped, broken-down, leaky faucet, dripping tub, rusted out bathroom.
I’ll never miss you.
See you later, master of none.