Our master bathroom (and bedroom) were pretty bad when we first bought our house. And while I know you’ve been waiting for photos of the master bathroom remodel final reveal for oh, about a month, I HAD to show you the Nightmare on Elm Street the master bathroom was originally.
I dug through some horrid old photos, with resolutions you’d expect from a digital camera in 2003. My 13-year-old’s throwaway cell phone takes better photos than our super expensive camera 10 years ago, but that’s neither here nor there. And when you’re done being assaulted by visions of the 90’s I’ll post the new bathroom, and hopefully your brain won’t have been too traumatized by what you’re about to see.
Are you ready? Get ready. Brace yourselves. Some serious ivy obsession is about to burst through your screen.
You guys. I feel okay about ivy. On college dormitories on the east coast of the US in the fall. Climbing the bricks of my childhood home, filling the gaps in chain-link fencing on a dirty inner city lot. But I’ll tell you what I don’t feel okay about: ivy crawling the walls of my master bathroom.
In fact, I’m not in love with ivy in the master bedroom either, if we’re really being honest here. Or wicker spray painted white.
But we seriously don’t have time to get into that shiz, we’ve got ivy to talk about. Ivy wallpaper, plastic ivy clocks, ivy wrapped shower curtains, and ivy lined mirrors, with matching fuzzy green toilet seat covers and ivy colored bath rugs. Ivy green / light turquoise chipped counter-top, forest green curtains, vinyl triangles of green flooring.
The walk-in-master-closet wasn’t a whole lot better. In fact, it was kind of a nightmare of wasted space and plastic hangers with matching green carpet.
All my favorite things in one place.
Have you had enough 1993 yet? It was a decent year, I was in high school listening to Nine Inch Nails, at the height of my teenage angst. But I wouldn’t say 1993 was a great year for interior design with all those dried and dusty flowers and deep, dark, hideous forest green. Especially ivy forest green in master bathrooms and master baths.
It’s hurting my feelings a bit just thinking about it. I ripped down the ivy the second we moved in and painted over with a nice beige-y tan. It was all we could afford at the time, a can of beige paint, as we were house poor and in school full time, both of us. I did what I could with a $30 budget and some thrift store shopping, and it held me over for 10 years, even if I did curse the moldy floors every time I took a bath. And then 5 minutes later I was miraculously pregnant and hospitalized and remodeling our house took a bit of a backseat to life.
It’s just the way it goes, yo. And that’s cool. But now, the master bathroom is so exquisite I’m hiding out in there most of my day. I sit in the tub working with my laptop on the side, pretending my master bedroom and its green grout-covered carpet isn’t on the other side of the new sliding door. You would too. Come on over, I’d love to have a party where you all come steam in the new shower with some lavender oils to calm your nerves from the trauma of my previous ivy laden master bath.