My family is the worst. Seriously, I love my kids but sometimes they’re just horrible.
Almost a year ago I scheduled family photos for August with the world-renowned husband and wife photography team Wendy and Tyler Whitacre from Blue Lily. I prepped my kids a year in advance by promising to lock them out in the cold if they messed up the photo shoot. Every couple of months over the year I’d
threaten remind them about the deal and how they were going to behave during said family photos.
‘We’ll be good‘ they said,
‘We’ll behave‘ they said.
If there’s anything I know by now, it’s that kids are liars. Little liars from liar-town. They know how to lie professionally. They could work for top level secret service organizations in the lie department.
Is that what it takes to survive being in a family?
Does this little man look like he’s behaving?
No. No he is not.
What about this guy?
He wasn’t (as) bad this time around, but there must be some old Russian / Polish folklore about the camera stealing your soul if you smile for a family picture. Otherwise there’s no excuse for this:
The Pole looks like he might kill you in your sleep and Charming looks as if he’s in the middle of a sneeze.
Us girls are holding our own, because even if we don’t feel like it, we want to look pretty for the camera. Someone in the family has to represent the effects good life and the boys would have you believe they’re still in the ration line for bread.
Maybe no one was behaving because The Pole and I took so many make-out breaks (as we are wont to do), but that’s a flimsy excuse for behaving badly.
See? An almost-smile! That’s the happiest he gets, folks.
WHAT IS EVERYONE SO GRUMPY ABOUT?
Now they’re smiling. Sure! When we play karate-chop-kill-your-brother/sister everyone is happy, but when it’s time to look at the camera it’s all Grumpy Cat.
Or naughty cat.
Either way, it’s do-the-opposite-of-what-your-mother-told-to-do. Because if you’re 8 and 14, (respectively) you must be smarter than your mom.
This one was smiling because her braces had been taken off the day before photos after EIGHT YEARS in treatment. She had a lot to smile about with all those pretty, shiny, new, expensive straight teeth.
And me? I stopped snarling for the camera somewhere after my 18th birthday because once you stop listening to Nine Inch Nails in the dark every night, life gets pretty good.
In all seriousness, Wendy and Tyler are phenomenal. If you have a chance to book them on their worldwide tour (the announce their dates every January) you should do whatever it takes to make it happen. Wendy was so good with my sassy small people, and Tyler is adorable and hilarious. They’re both so chill you can’t help but be happy while they take your photos. The whole photo shoot only lasted 45 minutes top to bottom, (plenty of time for children to behave badly) but even the naughtiest family can survive.