I am loved.
What does that do to you when you hear it, read it, feel it? I hope it’s a visceral reaction in your gut, that feeling loved business. Because when you’re loved the way you deserve to be, it can be a breathless and dizzying, electric, glorious experience.
Or the feel of being loved, really truly and properly, can be a glowing ember of toasty warm content. The act of feeling loved can be safety from fear, from separation and anxiety, of knowing someone out there has your back no matter how stupid you get. And sometimes we all get a little extra stupid.
A few weeks ago I wrote about being loved and loving, what I wish for my family, should something go amiss with my Stupid Lupus. Actually, physically, writing my love and wishes for the people closest to me was painful to think about but enormously satisfying to outline in detail and verbalize (in my head at least). Sometimes the love we give is exactly the kind of love we need. Do you know what I mean? The things I shared with my daughter are the kinds of things I needed to hear at each stage of my life and I’m sure the things she shares with her daughter someday will be different than what I’ve wished for her.
If you could go back in time to each decade of your life, or split that into halves if you’re not terribly old, what would it be to feel loved for each of your younger selves?
Here’s basically how it works out for me, and as I’m only 35 and there isn’t much to work with, I’ve split the decades smack in the middle around the tail end of the decade I was born.
Mid-1970’s – mid-1980’s:
(Birth, preschool, Kindergarten, elementary school)
Family, food, play, friends
Mid-1980’s – Mid-1990’s:
(elementary school, middle school, high school)
Friends, family, status, peer acceptance, accomplishment, physical love, personal success
Mid-1990’s – Early 2000’s:
(graduation from high school, college, moving away from home, marriage, first baby)
Family, friends, school, dating relationships, success, accomplishments, résumé
Early 2000’s – Early 2010’s:
(first baby, first house, first major job / career, college graduation, second baby, second house, major lifelong friendships forged)
Family, family, family, career, personal success, résumé, family, family, family
It’s kind of weird to break my life up into such simplistic bites, but when I pull out all the noise of the last 35 years, the few words to describe each decade basically say it all. In the end, all I need to feel loved and happy in life is my people, my family and my tightly-knit posse of dear friends all around me.
If you could look at each decade of your life, what was most important to you in each one? It’s crazy how it really all boils down in the end.
// This post is 1 of 2 as an ambassador for Helzberg Diamonds and their support of the Make-A-Wish Foundation’s ‘I Am Loved‘, an AMAZING campaign started in 1967. For every story shared on the I Am Loved page $1 Opinions and stories are my own, just like they are every other day of the week. All photos are my own: kids, family, etc.//
Family photo by Nicole Carman Christensen whose photos of my family I absolutely loved.